From paranoia to a scream

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By Claudia Cadelo De Nevi

On Friday night, after the release of Gorki and when we had already been to his house, he asked Lía if she had been to the beach.  Well, it is simply impossible to narrate the last four days in two hours.  He didn’t know yet that we had been at the court from eight in the morning, that we had been burned by the sun the whole day and that later two storms had rained on us… and that we were all there – the diplomats, the press and us (I say “us” because some of us didn’t know each other from before, so it was simply us, those who had been there).

I write this note because I want to share my experience in this act of solidarity that artists and non-artists (like me) have had with him and with ourselves, clarifying that I refer to physical artists, painters and writers, because I didn’t see a single musician, not even the most “underground” of the underground.

My friends call me a paranoiac; I am the one who lives in fear, who never opens the windows, who never speaks of politics, I am afraid of the dark, I don’t go out after ten at night, not even to the corner.  But nothing had made me as afraid as I was for the last four days starting on Monday (and it still hasn’t left me).

However, getting to know people like Yoani, seeing her at my side with the banner in her hand, after having talked to her two or three times on the telephone, driven by faith, to see us all today helping Gorki, Ciro, Renay and Herbert, my friends holding the ground with me and rising to overcome our fears and doubts, with friends overseas moving heaven and earth and, finally, managing to convert a sentence of four years into four days… to me it still seems like a miracle.

I feel pity for those who haven’t called me, who have been hiding from me in case I might ask them for help, for those who said “yes” but didn’t come, I regret they haven’t experienced the happiness of the end, the sensation of having achieved the unachievable.

I believe today marks a turning point from “No we can’t” to “Yes we can.”  We have shown that things can change, that we can stand up to injustices and the abuse of power and that fear is NOT infallible.

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5 thoughts on “From paranoia to a scream

  1. Despues de todos los comentarios serios, y las congratulaciones por la libertad de Gorki y el logro de poder unir a un grupo para protestar las arbitrariedades de la dictadura, Solo me falta decir algo que quizas no venga al caso, pero que no puedo dejar de mencionar:
    Claudia me resulta extraordinariamente admirable bella y atractiva. Quisiera ver mas fotos de ella y quisiera escuchar su voz, poder hablar con ella. Cualquier cosa que necesite, por favor me lo deje saber. Parece ser justo el tipo de persona que me cae bien.
    Yo pase por ese proceso que ella describe. Hasta un dia que me canse y comence a hablar. En cualquier lugar que estuviera en La Habana. Estaba dispuesto a llevarme por delante a cualquiera que me mirara atravesado. Tuve suerte, de milagro no me mataron. Pero el dia que me fui me torturaron con electricidad en uno de los clubes de la playa de Marianao, Tuve que fajarme con 3 palestinos. Pero con la confusion general que habia, al dia siguiente me fui. Afortunadamente cualquiera que me ve no sospecha lo que he atravesado.
    Animo Claudia, que el edificio esta podrido y unas cuantas buenas patadas lo derrumbaran !

  2. I remember such feeling as fear when we have been protestant at Presidential Administration one cold autumn night. After 17 days we became free. But personnel for me it was time when I was ready to fight for my and family freedom. It was 4 years ago at 2004 during so named Ukrainian events as Orange revolution

  3. Sometimes we do not do things because we are affraid.
    And other times, Times like this, we do things BECAUSE we are affraid.

    Congratulations on your courage, all of you. I have been following this
    closely from home and I am happy to hear that you are all safe.

    —————-

    No hacemos a veces cosas porque tenemos miedo.
    Y otras veces, épocas como, esto hacemos cosas PORQUE tenemos miedo.

    Enhorabuena en su valor. He estado siguiendo esto de cerca de hogar y me alegro feliz de oír que usted es todo seguro.

  4. Sometimes a small victory can open to larger ones.

    However, I would caution you to remain true to the cause and be careful that you don’t find yourselves going down a road darker than the one you are trying to leave.

  5. todo gorki claudia yoani=====son mi argullo los felicito palante por su efuerzo valentia contra esa tirania

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